


hold me like i'm more than just a friend

by wintersend



Series: modern au rom-coms [3]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Getting Together, Jealous Jyn, Jealousy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-07-28
Packaged: 2020-07-23 20:56:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20014678
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintersend/pseuds/wintersend
Summary: Cassian knew it was a bad idea. He’d seen enough movies to know things like this never turned out well: someone always got hurt. He just didn’t expect it to be him.OR, Cassian makes bad choices and it ends with him getting a broken nose and a girlfriend.





	hold me like i'm more than just a friend

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the prompt "Hold my hand so he gets jealous." I decided to do fake dating but with a twist. Hope you enjoy!

Cassian knew it was a bad idea. He’d seen enough movies to know things like this never turned out well: someone always got hurt. In his defense, it had been harmless at first – just a little bit of impulsive hand holding while her ex had walked by. She wanted to punish him _and_ make him crawl back to her at the same time, and Cassian happened to be there. But then _“Hold my hand so he gets jealous”_ turned into _“Pretend to date me just for a couple of weeks”_ and Cassian was too stupid to say no.

It would be fine, he told himself, because it’s not like they had feelings for each other. She was in love with her ex-boyfriend, no matter how much she didn’t want to be, and he was head over heels for someone else for a while now. It would just be a couple of outings together, she assured him, before her ex-boyfriend begged to take him back and they could go back to living their lives like normal. He certainly didn’t expect to get a broken nose out of it.

But as the doctor took a look at his injury, Cassian mused that he did know someone would get hurt. He just didn’t expect it to be him.

Leia Organa owed him a lot for this.

* * *

The whole thing had been going fine until tonight. It was Bodhi’s birthday party, and everyone was there. In hindsight, that should have been a warning sign. _Everyone_ always meant trouble. When Cassian really thought about it, his group of friends existed of a lot of hot-tempered or headstrong or argumentative people. He didn’t mind that so much in small doses but when they all got together, it could be a lot to handle.

And though he had hoped to be done with the whole thing by now, Leia saw the perfect opportunity to flaunt their fake relationship in Han’s face instead. Cassian agreed to go as her date only because she swore it would be the last time. He really should have said no.

But back then he had no idea he’d end up kissing Jyn in the closet before the party was over.

She’d been avoiding him anyway. He’d been trying to figure out why but that was the thing about avoidance – it was hard to get clues when he could barely get Jyn to talk to him for more than two minutes. She always had an excuse ready: she was busy, she was tired, she was ill, she was running late, she had a headache. It was all very convenient.

He was starting to think he had seriously offended her somehow when Bodhi’s party came around. And for once, she had nowhere to run from him. Cassian wasn’t ashamed to say he fully intended to use that to his advantage.

“Hey,” he said as he approached Jyn in the kitchen. She was pouring herself a glass of beer and he gestured towards it. “Can I have some?”

He really wasn’t a beer fan, to be honest, but any excuse to talk to her. Jyn eyed him like she knew this – of course she did, she knew him better than anyone – but shrugged and poured him a glass as well.

“Thanks.”

She nodded, wordless, and he could see she was preparing to go back to the living room. He grasped at an opener to make her stay.

“So uhm, are you enjoying the party?”

 _Great one, Cassian, truly brilliant._ He mentally chided himself, hating how self-conscious he felt. This wasn’t like him at all – even though he had a huge crush on Jyn for the longest time, he never got awkward around her mostly because he knew she didn’t see him that way. There was no point in stressing out over something that would never happen. Now, though, with her ire directed at him, and at a loss for why, he felt nervous in her presence for the first time ever.

If she noticed, her only reaction was a raised eyebrow. It was unreasonably cold.

“Yeah. It’s fine.”

“Bodhi seems to be having a great time.”

“Mhmm.”

“He and Luke are nauseatingly cute together.”

“Sure.”

“Okay, Jyn,” he sighed, running out of options, “what’s your problem with me?”

She blinked, feigning ignorance. “Pardon?”

“You know what I mean,” he said with a pointed look. “I’m sorry if I offended you somehow but can we talk about it? I really don’t know what I did, and I want to make it right.”

“Cassian, I don’t know –”

“Damn it, Jyn, I miss you. Give me something to work with.” He paused, giving her a pleading look. He was getting desperate and it showed. “We’re friends, aren’t we?”

Jyn stilled and he knew, even though he didn’t know _why_ , that was the wrong thing to say.

“Friends,” she said quietly, a bitter edge to her tone. She let out a laugh. “Yeah, that’s apparently all we are.”

Now he was confused. “What do you mean?”

“You wanna know what you did?” Jyn asked, her voice rising in anger. Her cheeks flushed and her gaze was murderous. “You’re dating Leia.”

Cassian paused. He had considered this could be the source of her anger – the timing was correct, and it was the only major change in their lives around the time she stopped talking to him. He eventually dismissed the idea, deciding it had to be something else he didn’t think of. He saw no reason why she would be pissed at him for dating Leia. At least, not so pissed that she’d go out of her way to avoid him. Maybe a little angry that he didn’t tell her about it in person, but to be perfectly honest, he still didn’t see why she would care so much.

“I – don’t understand, Jyn, why –”

“Because I love you, dammit!” she yelled, and he swore his heart stopped beating.

It was the one thing he made certain to never think about. The one thing he dismissed as crazy, outlandish, and unrealistic. He couldn’t afford to hope, couldn’t afford to fool himself into thinking he stood a chance with her. It was just his traitorous heart that wanted to believe it – he couldn’t trust his judgement when it came to his feelings for Jyn.

In truth, it had been more than just a crush for a long time. Hearing her say what he’d been thinking for so long was like lightning struck him.

“I had no idea you felt that way about me,” he said dumbly, still not quite processing this news.

“Clearly,” Jyn snapped then turned around, leaving her beer on the table. Cassian stared after her for a long second.

He looked back at Leia in the living room, gesturing animatedly as she talked to Shara Bey. Goddammit, he was not going to sabotage his chance with Jyn for this silly game between Leia and Han. They were just going to have to figure out their shit on their own.

With newfound determination, he took off after Jyn. He caught her by the coat closet, gently taking her arm to steer her inside. He knew they needed privacy for this conversation. She wriggled a little, shaking his hand off with an angry hiss, but went inside willingly. The door closed behind them, blocking out the noise from outside.

“Did you mean that, Jyn?” he asked, turning to face her.

“No, I’m just pulling your leg – of course I meant it,” she spat, every word a furious thunder. Cassian could tell when she was angry for real and when she was angry because she was afraid to be vulnerable. This was the latter. “You don’t have to do this, okay, I get that you’re not interested. I was an idiot to think you felt the same.”

“But you never said anything!” he cried out, defensive. God, they were both idiots. He had to fix this. “If I had known, I would have never agreed to this.”

Jyn stared at him in disgust and Cassian screwed his eyes shut. He hadn’t realized how that would sound.

“What, date Leia? Are you serious right now?”

“No, argh,” he groaned, rubbing his hand across his face. How did this get so messy? “Dammit, I’m not dating Leia.”

Jyn halted, clearly not expecting that. A myriad of emotions played across her face: surprise, confusion, disbelief. She settled for a skeptical, “Yeah, right.”

“I’m not,” he insisted. “She’s only pretending to make Han jealous. I’m more or less an unwilling participant.”

Jyn was silent as she took that in. She still seemed upset, but she eyed him curiously, looking for sincerity. Cassian held back nothing. He didn’t have anything to hide and if Jyn wanted nothing to do with him after this, at least she’d know the truth.

“Are you serious?” she asked, less doubtful but still cautious.

He nodded, gazing into her eyes. He tentatively took a step towards her. “Yeah. I always felt the same way about you. I didn’t think I stood a chance.”

Jyn’s breath caught. She stared up at him in unguarded vulnerability, barely contained hope, and a quiet blossoming joy. It was such a beautiful sight that Cassian forgot to breathe. Then she pushed at his chest.

“Asshole.”

Cassian stumbled, crashing into the wall and bringing down some of the coats with him.

“Hey! Jyn, what the hell?”

“Do you know how upset I was?” she demanded but she was less angry now and more agitated. “I thought there was something between us, I thought we were finally getting somewhere, then bam! You’re dating Leia. I thought I was crazy. _God_.”

Cassian pushed himself up, brushing off his shirt.

“So you were that upset, huh?” he asked, a small smirk hiding in his voice.

Jyn threw him a dirty look. “Shut up.”

“It looks like Leia’s plan worked a little too well. Not only did Han get jealous, _you_ also got jealous.”

“I really wouldn’t push my luck, Cassian,” Jyn warned him but her glare lacked intention. “I’m still mad.”

Cassian dropped the teasing smile from his face, giving her a genuine look. “I really wouldn’t have agreed to it if I’d known how you felt.”

“Why didn’t you anyway? I made myself pretty clear.”

He and Jyn must have a very different definition of the phrase “pretty clear” but that was a problem for another day.

“I’m an idiot,” he offered instead and that seemed to appease her.

“You really are,” she agreed. Her eyes were twinkling, and he smiled in response. “The question is, what am I going to do with you now?”

Cassian’s gaze dropped to her lips. The closet was rather small, and he hadn’t noticed how tightly cramped they were up against each other until now.

“I have a few ideas.”

Then he leaned down and kissed her.

That was how Han and Leia found them ten minutes later. Tangled up in each other in a badly lit coat closet. If he had been paying attention, he could have heard the telltale sign of raised voices and angry words coming their way, but as it was, he was a little occupied with kissing Jyn up against the wall.

The door opened with an unexpected bang and Jyn broke away from him with a gasp. There was a moment of shocked silence, Leia looking flabbergasted, while Han’s face transformed into fury.

“You son of a bitch!” he yelled and before Cassian knew it, he was being yanked out of the closet by the collar of his shirt. “You’re cheating on Leia while she’s ten feet away?!”

“No, no –” Cassian began and suddenly, everyone was talking at the same time.

“Han,” Jyn started as Leia angrily hissed, _“Han!”_ and Han himself was shouting and calling Cassian a lying cheating scumbag. The commotion attracted the others as well.

“What’s going on?” Bodhi asked, approaching them with a cocktail in his hand. Cassian felt a momentary twinge of guilt for ruining his birthday party.

“This asshole is cheating on Leia right under her nose!” Han yelled, shaking his fist, and Bodhi looked between him and Leia in confusion.

“What?”

“It’s not what you think –” Cassian started but before he could get anything else out, Han punched him.

That was when Cassian knew he was never doing Leia any favors again.

* * *

After the doctor was done fixing him up, his nose wrapped up in a splint, Leia approached him with an apologetic smile.

“Han says he’s sorry for the misunderstanding,” she told him. “I wasn’t sure you’d want to see him right now, so I agreed to pass on the message.”

Cassian glared. “I hope you’re happy with your Neanderthal boyfriend now.”

“We’re back together,” she told him cheerily. Any other time Cassian would have been happy for her but right now, he could barely suppress a groan.

“Seriously?”

“He did punch someone for my honor.” When Cassian gave her a blank look, she added, “I’m sorry. But you helped us a lot, you know, so thank you.”

“Sure, any time. Next time, though, you might want to ask someone else. Regretfully, I only have one nose.”

Leia winced a little. “Ah, come on, don’t be like that. Girls like that rugged macho look. Jyn certainly does.”

He said nothing. He didn’t know where he stood with Jyn right now and he was afraid to find out.

“Even so,” Leia continued, “you have to admit, it was in bad taste of you to go to a party with one girl and end up kissing another. I thought you had better manners than that.”

Cassian groaned. When would those damn painkillers finally kick in?

Leia laughed a little.

“In all seriousness, I’m happy for you both. And I feel awful. I got you into this mess, I made things harder for you and Jyn, and I gave you a broken nose as a parting gift. If there’s anything you want for your birthday, you got it.”

“I’ll let you know,” he told her sarcastically. Leia, sensing that he was done with the conversation, nodded.

“Oh look, Jyn’s here,” she said and Cassian turned to see Jyn lingering in the doorway. “Good luck.”

As Leia flitted out of the room, Jyn tentatively stepped inside.

“So,” she began, tugging on the ends of her sweater. “Regretting things yet?”

“Very much,” he said instinctively, then his eyes widened when he realized she might be talking about them. “I meant me and Leia. Not you and me. Not at all.”

Jyn smiled, a tiny but hopeful thing. “Good. Because that was one hell of a kiss and I’d like to do it again.”

“Even though I clearly make bad choices?” he asked, half-joking, half-serious.

Jyn shrugged.

“I think what you did was nice. Idiotic but nice. You tried to help a friend.” She paused, voice getting quieter. “That’s what I like about you.”

Cassian raised an eyebrow, the corner of his lips twitching up. His nose was still throbbing, but he cared less at the moment.

“Oh, it’s just like now, is it?”

He meant to be teasing but Jyn bit her lip and looked down. He could tell she was uncomfortable, a little fidgety, and probably very self-conscious. Cassian knew this wasn’t easy for her and though he had said he felt the same, she needed reassurance just as much as he did.

“Jyn,” he said, and at the tone of his voice, she looked up. He caught her gaze, trying to relay his sincerity. “I love you too.”

Her lips curled into a smile and she took a step closer, tangling their fingers together. Her cheeks were flaming but she looked happy. And though this is not how he imagined confessing his feelings, all that really mattered was that they finally got around to it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on [tumblr](https://captainandors.tumblr.com/)


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